Wednesday, May 25, 2005

A Public Nuisance

The way the weather's been all week, you'd think we were in Scotland or something. It's been in the low 50's and rainy. It's fucking May for Pete's sake. Where's the warm? As for the rain, all of you fuckers with umbrellas need to go buy raincoats. If I have to dodge out of the way of one more goddamn umbrella, I swear I'm going to flip my shit and kill all of you with the bluntest object I can find. In a crowded city, these contraptions with their pointy rods sticking out every which way, are about as safe as plutonium in the hands of a two-year-old. Granted, I'm one of the few lucky enough (that's sarcasm) to be eye-level with just about every umbrella held aloft in this city, and therefore one of the few consistently trying to avoid being maimed or blinded by them, but I still don't see why others can't show a little more courtesy. Especially given the fact that the skyscrapers create wind tunnels, destroying umbrellas left and right, you'd think that most people surely would tire of fighting with these things and just suck it up and buy a coat with a hood. But no--they insist on endangering the health of those of us who's heads peak in the five-foot-eleven to six-foot-three range.

You're all a bunch of bastards.

In other news, I had the best hot chocolate ever today. As I told Sheena, if God were a drink, he would be this one. At $4, it's still almost a bargain. Thank you City Bakery (18th St. between 5th and 6th).


Emiko said...

Haha. you should be thankful that you are not in Japan, though... 2 things. There is a rain season. and everyone!!! will be poking you in your eyes!!! oh and one more thing for good measure. WE LOVE UMBRELLAS!!! everyone!!

Anna said...

Will, I've never heard you be so angry before.

I'm frightened.

Flushy McBucketpants said...

Will smash!