Hamburger Helper

Summer has made an unfashionable, early appearance. Water molecules are doing that thing where they hesitate in mid-air, uncertain as to whether they should be forming a cloud or falling from one. It's the kind of weather where even thinking about moving causes perspiration. Everything seems to plod along with a bloated weariness. Yes, Memorial Day weekend made its successful return. Electronic road signs in Boston noted, in a rapid loop of fine rhetoric, to "Drive Safely" and that "Boston Honors its War Dead." I had my own little remembrance ceremony wherein I ate the ground flesh of a quadruped, freshly charred off the grill. Mix in a little crimson-colored corn syrup, and you've got quite a meal.

It seems our media outlets enjoy honoring our perished soldiers by virtually ignoring them. Rather, they prefer to make a big hullabaloo about a couple of journalists who were killed in Iraq. This is nothing to make light of, however it seems fairly self-serving and generally not front page worthy news, at least if you compare it to the fact that deaths of contractors or soldiers don't get similar treatment. It just seems uncouth for the media to be focusing attention on itself on a holiday where we're supposed to be remembering those who fought and died for our country as opposed to just... well, died.

Hooray for the free press.

______

In other news, I had a very enjoyable weekend with my cousins and oma up in Boston. We hit up the MFA (which has a few very nice Art Nouveau pieces) and the DeCordova (interesting sculpture park... didn't get to the museum). I also got a little of my game back in FIFA soccer, which I haven't played in maybe a year. The '06 version is buggy, but more realistic on the scoring front. Goals are almost fluky, which seems more in line with how things actually work, at least in my experience. I got schooled in some Nintendo fighting game by Andrew, the older of my two cousins, and schooled in Greek mythology by Sam, the younger.

complete the thought...

... a list in the style of a list from McSweeney's...

I almost married her. She was perfect in every way but one...

...she was dead.
...she was a he.
...she was 23 and I was 12. She was not into preteens.
...she had three elbows.
...she had four elbows.
...she was a Nazi.
...she was made of uranium.
...she did not believe in dinosaurs.
...she was inflatable. Actually, she was perfect. We honeymooned in the Himalayas.
...she was a leper.
...she had no neck.
...she was a silverback gorilla.

Please, feel free to add your own.

Albright is Alright.

"If Arab democracy develops, it will do so to advance Arab aspirations based on Arab perceptions of history and justice. The right to vote and hold office is unlikely to soften Arab attitudes toward Israel or to end the potential for terror, just as it has been unable to prevent terrorist cells from organizing in the West. Democracy should, however, create a broader and more open political debate within Arab countries, exposing myths to scrutiny and extreme ideas to rebuttal. Though some may fear such an opening, Americans should welcome it. For if we fail to value free expression, we forget our own history." --Madeleine K. Albright on washingtonpost.com

Tsar Nicholas II to Blame for Wayne Rooney's Broken Foot

From the Guardian:

Instantly supplanting the War of Jenkins' Ear as history's most depressing conflict about a body part is the War of Rooney's Foot, currently being waged between Sir Alex Ferguson and Sven-Goran Eriksson. Yet as they fiddle, the rest of us get on with the real business: whom to burn for The End of the Dream(TM). Happily my eye is drawn to a letter to Football365.com which suggests that stopping free school milk caused brittle bones in all subsequent generations of children, and therefore the blame for Rooney's injury must be laid at the door of Margaret Thatcher...

Continue reading what may be considered the most brilliant football article ever written.