Friday, May 19, 2006

complete the thought...

... a list in the style of a list from McSweeney's...

I almost married her. She was perfect in every way but one...

...she was dead.
...she was a he.
...she was 23 and I was 12. She was not into preteens.
...she had three elbows.
...she had four elbows.
...she was a Nazi.
...she was made of uranium.
...she did not believe in dinosaurs.
...she was inflatable. Actually, she was perfect. We honeymooned in the Himalayas.
...she was a leper.
...she had no neck.
...she was a silverback gorilla.

Please, feel free to add your own.

3 comments:

Ben said...

...she had a tail.
...she ate from the cat's dish.
...she ate from the cat's litter box.
...she ate the cat.
...she believed carrots were a hoax perpetrated by the French.
...she insisted on us having threesomes with gorgeous women, but I'm just a one woman man.
...when we watched movies about WWII, she rooted for the Axis powers.
...when we watched Mighty Ducks 2, she rooted for Iceland.
...when we watched Blue's Clues, she rooted for the jackass who sings.
...she shot J.R.
...she vomited with disgust when I removed my clothes.
...she beat me in hopscotch.
...she made me add stuff to this stupid list.

Emiko said...

will, it has nothing to do with your entry but i quit!! I quit i tell you i quit. well, technically i still work, but i told her i was leavin!

Emiko said...

nothing new to report here, oh other than i worked a press conference which was needlessly hell as usual, working under the people that i do, but hey... i'm just exhausted and tired... oh wait they are the same thing. and bitchy. how are you?? I bought tics to fuji rock!! http://www.smash-uk.com/frf06/line-up.html
which is going to be 3 days of awesome.