Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Polio and International Relations (from 3/6/05)

Three things I learned about myself when I have imbibed lots of beer:

1. I become wildly inarticulate, unable to specify--even remotely--the idea I mean to convey. An example from last night when discussing wedding invitations: "Trees are excellent imagery. They're, like, so lush!"

2. Drinking copious amounts of beer results in severe intestinal distress.

3. I forget what 3 is.

Baseball:
Peter Angelos, you are an idiot. Why did you trade for Sammy Sosa? Sosa, newly of the Baltimore Orioles, Has been in steady decline over the past four years: his homerun output has dropped by 30, his batting average by 70 points, his on base percentage by over 100 points, and his slugging percentage by over 200 points. Granted last season his home run output was lessened by his spending a good month on the disabled list, but I don't think that will be his last stay on the dl and that doesn't explain the drop in percentages. Sosa was also known in Chicago for being awful in the clubhouse, so much so that the Cubs in the trade paid the Orioles millions of dollars to take him off their hands an in return received a utility man and a couple prospects. To top it off, he was ejected yesterday from an exhibition game for generally being a dick by heckling the umpires and arguing balls and strikes. On the bright side, he hasn't taken steroids, right? Right?

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